The final revision : number 6

Because I don't want to drive the readers
feelings, I decided to remove the word
'surprise' from the poem, and revised it
as follows.



(number 6 : revision 2)
After the typhoon

Just after the rain stopped,
Lot's of bicycles rushed out
From the big high-school gate.

A yellow umbrella turned around
With a little girl under it.

The sky regained bright blue.
Strong winds still blew.

Just after the road dried,
Lot's of spots appeared
All around the sidewalk.

A yellow umbrella fell from
The hand of the little girl.

She found many pressed tiny frogs,
Flattened creatures with four legs.

Just after the typhoon went by.
Just after the typhoon went by.

The sky regained bright blue.
Strong winds still blew.

Revision by my family : number 6

There was a comment from my family
who used my account.
I revised the nember 6 as following:



(number 6 : revision 1)
After the typhoon

Just after the rain stopped,
Lot's of bicycles rushed out
From the big high-school gate.

A yellow umbrella turned around
With a little girl under it.

The sky regained bright blue.
Strong winds still blew.

Just after the road dried,
Lot's of spots appeared
All around the sidewalk.

A yellow umbrella fell from
The hand of the little girl.

Surprised to see pressed tiny frogs,
Flattened creatures with four legs.

Just after the typhoon went by.
Just after the typhoon went by.

The sky regained bright blue.
Strong winds still blew.

The May season : number 5

I think the most beautiful season of Tohoku is
a period from May holidays to the beginning of
the rainy season.
Especially the thin green color of the new leaves
is very beautiful and it is supposed to be a symbol
of Tohoku in Japan.
No matter what great grief Tohoku peoples have,
they appreciate this season with various thoughts.



(number 5 : revision o)
The park in May

New Leaves sprout on the trees
Rustling under the blue sky.
When mothers in the park
Call the names of their kids,
The sound of the leaves
Seem to grow louder.

Colorful flowers bloom on the trees
Shinning under the blue sky.
When principals in the park
Call the names of their pupils,
The color of the flowers
Seem to grow brighter.

The young trees stand in the park
Pointing toward the blue sky.
When gardeners in the park
Count all the trees again,
The number of the trees
Seem to Increase mysteriously.

revised : number 4

I showed my fourth poem to my English teacher.
She advised me to make its meaning clearer.
I revised it as the following.


(number 4 : revision 1)
A janitor murmured

He disappeared suddenly,
On the last day of camp.
I screamed I missed him.
My classmates said, who?
They didn't see him.
My teacher said, oh!
I must have dreamed.

He disappeared suddenly,
With a memory of hide-and-seek.
I shouted I saw him.
My classmate said, who?
They didn't see him.
The principal murmured,
He had been to be here.

He disappeared suddenly,
Just after playing on the stairs.
I said I loved him.
My classmates said, who?
You've lost your mind.
The janitor sighed,
He had been such a good boy.

Children : number 4

About three months have passed since the earthquake.
Children here play joyfully as they used to do.
Sometimes they talk about mysterious happenings.
Their game machines moves by themselves,
or music instruments make sounds without players,
or chattering is heard from the empty classroom, etc.
I tried to make a poem for kids.


(number 4 : revision o)
Janitor murmured

He disappeared suddenly,
On the last day of the camping.
I screamed I missed him.
Classmates said, Who?
They didn't know him.
Teacher said, Oh!
I must have dreamed.

He disappeared suddenly,
With a memory of a hide-and-seek.
I shouted I saw him.
Classmate said, Who?
They didn't see him.
Principal talked to himself,
He had been to be.

He disappeared suddenly,
Just after jumping down the stairs.
I said I loved him.
Classmates said, Who?
I lost my mind.
Janitor sighed and murmured,
He had been a good boy.


reference:
http://www.asahi.com/english/TKY201106030170.html

Sinful ? : number3

I used the word 'darkness' for telling my depressive status
in this poem, and also 'toward the light' meant 'I want to
be brighter'.
But my English conversation teacher pointed out that
'darkness' could be associated with sin, and
'toward the light' could mean 'I am repenting of my sin'.
I don't want the poem to have such a religious meaning.
So, I revised it as following.


(number 3 revision 1)
Del Sol

Came with a stomachful of dark clouds.
Came without any appetite.
Came here with no reason.

A bite of the Salad tasted of the light.
The dark clouds disappeared.
Each slice of the Pizza tasted of the sun,
Made me hungrier by the bite.

Del Sol, a cooker of the sun,

Reminded me,
To walk in the light.

Brightly : number 3

Two months have passed since the earthquake and the tsunami.
People around me look normal as they had been.
But actually the economical condition in Sendai area is terribly bad.
And people here are always uneasy at little earthquakes that we have almost everyday.
Nobody here can't have confidence that the bright future will come.
My wife and I are also irritable about trivial things without knowing.
Last Monday, we happened to go to a pizza restaurant for lunch without any conversation.
But after taking lunch, we could get back home with lots of words.
I made my third poem at the restaurant with big gratitude.


(number 3 revision 0)
Del Sol

Came with a stomachful of darkness.
Came without any appetite.
Came here with no reason.

A bite of the Salad tasted of the light.
The darkness disappeared.
Each slice of the Pizza tasted of the sun,
Made me hungry and hungry.

Del Sol, a cooker of the sun,
Reminded me to walk,
Toward the light.